Monday, August 10, 2009

Asexuality


Sometimes, I wonder if these labels that are put on others are just temporary or experimental. The reason I write this is because I know that with my personal life, some things are just a temporary exploration through the seasons and ages of life, but we put a label to them and others assume it is permanent. Most of you who are inherent risktakers have gone through many of these "seasonal" journeys. Maybe this is to include a "sabatical" from being close to others. For me, this only happened from being hurt, thus a period that could of labeled me as being an"asexual".
You may have heard the term asexual? I don't always agree with all the theories about this subject. Still it is a matter some suffer with in relations or with someone they once knew.
For one, supposedly while an asexual person is someone who usually abstains from sex, I think some people have a predisposition to do this just the same as with other things people do. They prefer to be platonic forever, in alot of cases. But let's look at the reasons..... For instance, a man finds his wife hates sex anymore. Perhaps she is going into an asexual part of her life. I know hormones can affect people to either make them want lots of sex, or none at all. I have also seen former drug addicts who used to have an excess libido and extreme serotonin overdrive from cocaine or meth drugs. Then just as much as the drug-induced horniness was all the way up the charts, it went all the way down to the point that years later, they either could not really perform sex, or could care less about it. Thus, they acted just like an asexual person.
Another reason noone seems to explain, is that some people might become asexual from the obvious factor, being that they got hurt by someone. I know women that consider theirself "gay", but only because men hurt them. There is also a possibility for a person who becomes asexual in that, let's say, if they have Erectile Dysfunction, Herpes, Hep B or C, HIV/AIDS, or some debilitating illness where they just want closeness but do not want to share sexual intimacy and/or tell all their innermost secrets.
I have thought that sometimes I go through asexuality, but it is more like abstinence or celibacy.......I prefer closeness first and then to be only with one person, not a "fly by night". Those easy ones are too easy to get and lovemaking is too special, at least, for me.
In any event, for whatever reason a person finds theirself in this situation, it is kind to not push them for sex. If more single men treated every woman like an asexual woman, he would then not fear rejection and some of those single women might just take a mind to turn around and be with him. Statistics can show us that more men fear commitment and more women hate the pressure to have sex instead of friendship. So If you are looking for a mate, it might still be fair to say that at least if they label theirself as "asexual", you might have to weigh that they might be a more faithful mate in the longrun. This being should you choose to pursue them and if they do not consider theirself "permanently" asexual. Obviously, only a permanent asexual should be with another permanent asexual, or make other arrangements to fulfil their needs.

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